1200 Word Post Revised 3/17

When your parents tell you something you want to trust and believe what they say. The view of my mothers about the Chandler's has always made me question her. Since both sides of my family are strange in many ways, the way each of them act is totally different. My father’s side, not very wealthy growing up, is the big family of 7. As children they would all sleep in the same room which was the attic of their house. When they got together they said it was like 7 wild animals roaming the house. Also, their cousins the 7 Kelly children would also join their herd. No wonder they turned out the way they did. On the other side of my family, my mother's side was also big with 5 children, but they were all brought up proper and always following the rules. My mother's view on the world around her is much different than my father's. They were so close by living across the street from each other, but they were so different.

When I was younger I wasn't very close with many of the Chandlers because my mom did not think I would learn anything good from them. My dad was supposedly the only "normal" one to her because he was the only child that graduated from college. My mom thinks this way about them till this day. It upsets me because now that I have grown up and have realized my mom still views them the same way, it makes me want to get closer with all of them. I want to figure out why she has this view. I am one of the middle grandchildren so I get along with my older cousins. The younger ones I barely see. I have a lot in common with them and they know the real me. They know that I am just like my father who keeps to myself, but also the one that believes that you have to take care whatever cards you’re dealt in life. It's my mother’s hatred for the Chandler side that pushes me closer to their open arms. They accept me even when I have faults.

The Chandlers are all about the legion. My uncle Donny spends every waking moment at the Legion, even Christmas Day. It is where I have grown up. I remember seeing a picture of me (2 years old) and my cousin Mark (9 years old) during an Easter egg hunt at the Legion the only one that I would be aloud to participate in. My mother didn't find it suitable for me to be down there. My father always relaxed with anything so he would sneak me down to the legion at any age. During every summer I would always run down there from my house because of the small town everything is so close, that I would always find my grandpa smoking a cigarette in the basement when he knows he shouldn't be, or the bartender saying hi to me while kicking some drunk out at noon. I have many memories at the Milford Legion with my Chandler cousins, some should not be mentioned. My mother still doesn't know half the stuff I enjoy doing with the Chandlers. Whatever I did with the Chandler's, was always kept from my mother for many years. The legion was like a safe haven from her. I don't understand how my father can listen to her complain about his family? He sits there just facing the TV. or reads the newspaper without looking up. He is probably used to it since growing up with her and being married to my mother.

I can’t go in the past and see why my mother thinks of the Chandlers as some type of disease that she doesn’t want to spread in me. She speaks to them like they are under her. Maybe it’s that she tells me stories of before I was born and explain to me events that took place that I had no idea happened. My father would never speak a word of them. It was in the past and we need to deal with the present, his thoughts of it all. It’s moments in the past how my father’s sister Mary Jo was a knock out in high school and she married the biggest low life twice. Since I’ve been around they have two children and have no money, they try to ask for it from their siblings, but no one budges. Or maybe it’s my father’s other sister Betsy that has been married three times and has I can’t even count how many kids. Back in the day when my mother and Betsy lived across the street from each other they were enemies. Betsy would always steal anything she could get her paws on. My mother remembers every item Betsy took from her. Betsy till this day has not changed. Another blow to my father’s side is when my cousin Allison (one of Betsy’s children) who just turned twenty-one and is about to have her second child. In my mother’s eyes, she thinks this is ludicrous. My mother never wanted me to hang around Allison because of her actions. Maybe it’s because Allison has had two abortions, got married to a soldier that went a-wall, and because of who her mother is.

My parents are always there for me. They always make me feel welcome, but awkward at the same time. I don’t know how to act or feel to their actions towards me. I want them to acknowledge me for what I believe in and how I feel to live in the world they way I want to. I am closer to my father even though his family might be different than my mothers but were all the same we are family. My father is a man that spreads a smile whenever he speaks. He's a man with little words and emotion. He is always packing a cooler to float in a canoe to have time to be himself. He's the man that I look up to even though when we say goodbyes he gives me an awkward handshake instead of awkward hug with a pat on the back. My father came to visit me for a weekend in Athens. My father Patrick is the type of guy that takes everyday at a time. I think a 52 year old gym teacher should be living life. I always question what he is thinking; I can never read him right. Anyway, as an only child not really emotionally close with my parents I was actually very excited he was coming to OU, to visit me, his follower. While he came to visit on Saturday we went to dinner with my friends and then went to (I don't know if I'm allowed to say this, but went to a bar and had drinks that helped me have a great morning after). At the end of the night when my father was leaving to go to his hotel room and after having an awkward night of standing next to each with a distance of looking right then left and then saying one sentence then repeating again until he left with complete intoxication and giving me a handshake and slipping a $20 dollar bill in my hand. It was at that moment that struck me as kind of annoying. I haven't completely thought of how I really feel. It struck a nerve to the very core of my feelings towards my parents. It's a confusing feeling I still haven't understood. I wanted to spend time with him, not for him to give me possessions that I don't want when I have time with him without my mother around. It's a want to be close with him, a closeness that I want more than anything especially worth more than to have Andrew Jackson explain his feelings.